Affairs of the Heart
by nightrobin2424
Summary: The journey to the one you want is never easy. NickGreg slash with NickOC thrown in.
1. Prologue: Unrequited Greg's Opening

I was never one to keep anything about myself private, or was I one to hide my emotions. Ever since I was fourteen I knew I liked boys just as much as I liked girls, maybe more. Granted I dated mostly girls until college and even then girl were always in my bed. There were a few guys scattered in and then I interned at the Frisco crime lab and met Riley Johnson, the first guy to make my toes curl. He was seven years older than me and that much more experienced. We had an amazing sex life and since we worked the same shift it was even better. That's all it really was though sex, really good sex but no strings attached. I once thought we could be more, but I was young and didn't want to be tied down, and I figured Riley didn't want one either. We parted on good terms though with a blow job in the bathroom of the airport bathroom as I left for my new job in Vegas.

To be honest I was excited to be going to Vegas and to be hand picked to be head DNA tech at the 2nd best lab in the country was an honor. It was a new chapter in my life to start over and find someone other than Riley to satisfy my needs. Nick Stokes was the first one I met other than Grissom, we literally ran into ran into each other and I nearly died when I looked up at the face of the person I knocked over. My cheeks reddened and I felt like the biggest dumbass in the world, but he only smiled and introduced himself and I was hooked. Now I knew it was bad to fall for such a straight laced guy as Nick Stokes but I could not help myself, he was a God to me. He was the first one I befriended and really that only made it was me. We drank beer at his house on Fridays and video games on Tuesdays at mine. We bonded which most people found odd because he was a CSI and I was a lab rat. That never stopped us though and I found myself falling for him, something I never wanted to happen especially with a straight man. I got vibes sometimes though, he would look at me a little longer than he should and his hand would touch mine as he waited for his results. It made me believe I actually had a chance until the day Lori Quincy swept him away.

Catherine Willows ruined my life, that's what I like to say. Catherine was the one who hired me and brought me to Vegas, to Nick and it was Catherine who brought Lori Quincy into Nick's life. Lori was Lindsey's babysitter on occasions and Catherine just happened to mention to Nick that Lori was a great girl, so Nick being the gentlemen he was asked her out. Within a month of them dating our Fridays disappeared and Tuesdays were rare. Nick always apologized though with that smile of his I forgave him every time. Sure Lori was nice, we met and I even doubled dated with him and Lori once with Lori's physco friend Ariel. Let's just say she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box and I didn't get any that night. I could tell Lori hated me though; it was clear in her eyes because I was Nick's best friend. I was not too worried, it was just a phase and soon Lori would be gone and I'd have Nick back in no time. Only it was not just a phase to Nick and I learned the truth of his intentions when he showed me the ring.

"Do you think she'll like it?" he asked me letting the ring drop into the palm of my hand. I told him of course she would like it and yes I would be his best man in the wedding. Inside I Was dying, of course it was all my fault really falling for the straightest man I knew. Lori of course said yes and wasted no time flaunting the ring and Nick around. Catherine was ecstatic and I hated her more and more each day I didn't want to blame myself so I blamed her. After Nick proposed Tuesdays disappeared too, so the only time I really saw him was the lab. My solution was to bury myself in work and not let it get it to me, but what do I go and do? Tell Grissom the lab is suffocating me and I want to be a CSI, I really thought he would turn me away, laugh in my face, but he did none of those things and one week later I went to a scene with Sara. So now I am almost a CSI, Nick is constantly by my side in the field telling me wedding plans and I am falling into something deeper than I ever imagined, I am hopelessly in love with Nick Stokes a man I'll never have.


	2. One: Celebratory

Greg Sanders often wondered if he made the right choice, moving from head DNA tech to bitch CSI. Hell he wasn't even a CSI yet after he screwed up his proficiency test by taking a piss on the scene, really how could he have been so stupid? Brass didn't let it go either; ribbing him every chance he got and the other CSIs weren't exactly defending him. Nick did though, Nick always did and that really did not make matters any better. The only good thing in his life was that Nick had not set the wedding date yet and so maybe Lori would get lost and Greg could breathe again. Of course that wasn't the case because Nick talked about her all the time and Greg wasn't exactly sure how he managed not to puke. So he tried to focus on becoming a CSI and doing better on his second chance Grissom was giving him, although he felt he did not deserve it. He never deserved anything especially the things he really wanted.

"What are you doing here?" he asked when he saw the feet as he was bent over examining his extremely bizarre crime scene, something right out of Sherlock Holmes.

"Come to help."

"You think I am incompetent Sara?"

"No Greg." She said shaking her head. "I want to see you succeed contrary to popular belief I believe in you."

"Really?"

"Really." She smiled at him and Greg did have to admit Sara was one of his better friends. "Nick does to."

"What does Nick have to do with it? We weren't even talking about him."

"I'm not blind Greg or stupid."

"I do not know what you are talking about Sara." He said as he focused on fingerprinting Sherlock's chair.

"Greg it may not be obvious to Nick, but I am a woman I can see."

"It's nothing I am over it, I am the best man in the wedding it's all good. We shouldn't be discussing this right now; all I need to know is who shot Sherlock."

"This isn't over Greg." Sara warned. Greg did not respond because he knew he's be spilling his whole story to her soon.

Sara was persistent Greg gave her credit for that and finally gave in when she shoved up on his doorstep with a case of Miller Lite and Chinese food he knew the time had come.

"You think you can seduce me with beer and greasy food?"

"Yes I do, smell the pork Greg." She wafted the food in his face and he breathed it in.

"Damn you Sara Sidle get in here." She beamed at him and waltzed in depositing the pork in his hands. "Enjoy."

"Yeah." He grumbled not believing she won.

"So Greg do tell me."

"Wow you do not waste anytime do you?"

"Nope I sure don't." she grinned as she sat down on his couch and opened a beer.

"Shouldn't you not be drinking?"

"I'll be fine, stop avoiding the subject Greg."

"I've been avoiding it for the past five years Sara." He sighed.

"Greg it really can't be that bad."

"No Sara it really is that bad. Nick and were so close when I moved here…"

"I noticed that when I came here and then Lori…"

"Lori destroyed it, but oh I get to be the best man." He said dryly as he opened up his second beer.

"Greg are you in love with Nick?" He was silent and Sara had her answer before he even said it.

"I tried so hard not be Sara, I knew he was straight but then we became good friends and I fell in deeper and I just…I haven't been able to get over him even though he's unattainable."

"Oh Greg." She said as she wound her arms around him in a comforting hug. "It's going to be ok."

"I've been trying to be ok don't you see? I've been trying not to think about him that way, but then he smiles at me and everything is shot to hell. It is impossible to get over him and I've never had him."

"Greg…"

"Why couldn't I have just gone out with Mandy? Or Travis even? No I pine away for Mr. Straightedge."

"You can't help who you fall for Greg, but you can help yourself get over it, over him."

"I tried so hard I don't think I can anymore."

"You can and you will Greg, he has Lori you have to come to terms with that."

"I know." He sighed sadly. "I know."

"I'll always be here for you."

"I know Sara, thank you."

"You're my friend Greg." Was her reply before she stole a piece of his pork earning a big grin from him.

* * *

He couldn't believe it he had fucked up again. He had been so sure, so positive and then Grissom had called him on his mistake. He cursed himself to hell and knew had blown his last chance it would be back in the lab again and more suffocation. Maybe it was better to be in the lab, and then he could really avoid Nick.

"Hey G Grissom wants to see you."

"Right." He nodded at Warrick and continued the path to his doom.

"Grissom, they said you wanted to see me." No answer, what the hell was going on? He walked forward into the office and turned Grissom's chair around only to find the dummy known as "Mr. Wiggles" holding up a sign that said YOU PASSED!

"What?" he was dumbfounded but he turned around to see the whole group filing into the room, Sara being the first to wrap him up in a hug. "I don't get it." He said to Grissom once he had been passed around the room. "I got the wrong method, the wrong guy."

"True, but you had a hunch and you went back to follow it that makes a true investigator." Greg could only smile as Catherine broke out the champagne. He could not believe his luck; at least something in his life was going right.

There were no arguments for an after work celebration at a club on the strip. Greg almost thought Nick would not go because Lori had him on such a leash on him that she hardly let him go out with his friends since they became engaged.

"You're actually coming?"

"I wouldn't miss it G, it's your day after all." And he gave Greg the smile he loved so much, the one that made his knees go weak. He could see Sara giving him the "look" but he shrugged it off, it was just a friendly smile nothing else.

"It does not look like you are getting over him." Sara hissed in his ear once they had a moment alone.

"It's nothing, I got this."

"Sure you do."

"Sara, I just got promoted to CSI something I've wanted very badly, I want to get trashed and not talk about Nick ok?"

"Ok fine." She huffed. "But you can't say I didn't try."

"Whatever Sara, just give me a congratulations and a beer." Sara just rolled her eyes at him and stalked off to the bar.

"Come on Greg, come dance." Catherine called and he smiled making his way over to her.

"Well I can't resist a pretty lady can I?"

"Not me at least." She grinned as he led her to the dance floor. Greg had to admit Catherine was a good dancer a sexy one at that, she knew how to move her hips in just the right rhythm and if he wasn't so hung up Nick he could see himself and Catherine having a very good time.

"So how does it feel Greg?"

"Brilliant." He grinned as he moved his hips with hers.

"Wow Greg, I did not know you could dance so well."

"Just one of my many talents my lady."

"Indeed." She laughed. Greg enjoyed dancing with her, she was a good partner but twice he looked back at the table where the others were he caught Nick staring at him before he quickly looked away. Now the first time he noticed this he thought maybe Nick was looking at Catherine because she was a beautiful woman, but his eyes were not on Catherine. Greg thought maybe he was hallucinating, but Nick's eyes were defiantly on him. It made him hot all over and hoped Catherine would not notice because sometimes he couldn't control himself. He really did not need another person knowing about his lost for Nick, Sara was enough.

"Cath, I need to sit down and refuel."

"You just want that beer Warrick's waving at you."

"Hell yeah I do, it's free."

"Fine, I will make Warrick dance with me."

"He won't be able to move it like me."

"Don't worry Greg, you're the best."

"Damn right." He made his way over to the table and took the beer from Warrick's hand as Catherine pulled him out of the seat. Sara was still at the bar flirting with the bar tender so that left him alone at the table with Nick, great.

"So how does it feel buddy?"

"Awesome, just awesome I can't believe it. I really wanted this."

"I know G." he said with a smile. "And you'll be a damn good CSI too."

"Thanks Nick."

"You're my best friend Greg, I believe in you." Greg frowned into his beer glass, best friend that's all he would ever be to Nick, he so needed more beer now.

He and Nick were pretty sloshed by the time Sara stopped flirting with the bartender and Catherine had finished dancing with Warrick.

"Come on Nicky don't think you can get out of it."

"I wouldn't dream of it Cath." he slurred.

"Come on Sar." Greg urged grabbing her hand.

"Greg you are drunk."

"Well duh, so dance with me, it is my night."

"Oh don't you dare try and guilt me into this Sanders."

"Pretty please."

"You better do it Sara."

"Shut up Warrick, ok fine." She relented and pulled him to the floor. Catherine and Nick were dancing nearby and Greg could see the sweat on Nick's brow and damn he looked so good.

"You're staring." Sara hissed in ears.

"I'm drunk, I can stare all you want."

"Greg…"

"Just let me stare."

"Fine." She grumbled. Nick was a good dancer, moving his hips made Greg think of all the dirty things they could do with Nick's hips moving like that. Greg was sure he had a hard on, but at that point he really did not care. "Greg Jesus, I think it's time to go." Well that answered the hard on question.

"Not yet Sara, please."

"No, you're going to embarrass yourself."

"You are no fun."

"Come on let's go."

"You taking him home Sar?"

"Yes Cath, he is done."

"Could you take Nick too?" Sara really didn't think that would be a good idea with Greg in the state he was in, but she couldn't say no Catherine would get suspicious.

"Sure."

"Cath, I can't go home Lori will freak out."

"Then crash at Greg's apartment." Sara blanched at the idea, which would not be a very good at all.

"Oooh that's a great idea Cath, you are so the greatest." Sara looked at Greg and knew this could only end very badly.

* * *

Greg couldn't believe his drunken luck as Sara dropped himself and Nick off his apartment. He knew it was very bad, especially since he was so drunk he's do just about anything, but Nick did not want to go home and Greg didn't argue.

"Are you sure I can't drop you off Nick?"

"No…no Sara I do not want to deal with Lori."

"Ok fine." She gave Greg a stern look, but he did not care it would be like old times again before Lori ruined it all.

"Hey Nick, beer?"

"Naw man, I've had so many already. You got the new Madden game?"

"Hell yeah, I've been waiting on you to play it."

"Sorry about that dude, I haven't been much of friend lately."

"Nah it's fine you have a woman now."

"But I can't forget about you G, my best friend." His voice was thick and Greg had to be imagining things, Nick was so not leaning in to kiss him.

"Nick…"

"I don't know what I am doing." He confessed. "But it feels so right." Greg never did get to respond because holy God Nick was kissing him and it was every wet dream he ever had come true. Nick's lips were as soft as he imagined and he lost himself in the sheer intensity of the kiss that was until the logical part of him took a step forward.

"Nick…oh God…Lori…you'll regret this in the morning. I know it is the alcohol talking."

"I don't care, do you want to stop Greg?" he asked thrusting against Greg.

"Oh God no, bedroom now." They tumbled into Greg's bedroom, clothing flying everywhere, their kiss never breaking. In the back of his mind Greg knew it was wrong, knew Nick would hate him in the morning, but Nick felt too good pressed against him and tasted so good as their lips remained locked. He didn't care about anything else as Nick pushed his way into him, he just wanted to feel and loved the way his name sounded on Nick's lips as they moved as one. In the morning Greg would wake up with a hangover and possibly no best friend, but tonight it was all about this very moment consequences be dammed.


	3. Mistake

The first thing Nick noticed when he opened his eyes was the unfamiliar scenery and pounding in the back of his head. He closed his eyes and groaned rolling over into the warm body next to him. His eyes snapped open as he realized that it wasn't Lori, or even a woman. Suddenly it came rushing back to him the club, the drinking, and Greg. The figure next to him shifted and he saw the familiar face and he suddenly he felt very sick. This was not happening, he did not sleep with Greg, but those his clothes scattered on the floor and he could see the empty condom wrapper next to his boxers. What had he done? He had to get out of there before Greg woke up and then he remembered his was car was still at the lab. Fuck. He'd just have to call a cab, he just could not be in that bed when Greg woke up, and he was not ready to face the truth. Nick Stokes was no gay, and sleeping with Greg was clearly a mistake.

Greg knew before he even woke up Nick was gone, but he knew last night was not a dream. He could remember the slick of Nick's skin and the feel of his lips when they kissed. He knew he'd wake up alone, but to have one night with Nick was all he ever wanted, but now that he had it he craved more. He rubbed his eyes and knew work was going to suck and his luck he'd get paired with Nick. How could he have been so stupid? This could ruin their friendship all because he couldn't keep his drunken hands to himself.

"Sara."

"What?"

"Something happened."

"Oh Greg please tell me you and Nick didn't…"

"We did."

"I know I should have taken him home, God Greg how could you have been so stupid!?"

"He kissed me first Sara! He came on to me and I…I just had to have it because I couldn't stop myself. I tried I really did, but I needed him."

"He's gone isn't he?"

"He left as soon as he woke up when he realized who was in bed with him. Our friendship is probably over."

"Was it worth it Greg? One night of sex and you lose your best friend."

"It was the best sex of my life Sara I won't lie, maybe things will be ok with us."

"Do you honestly think it will Greg?"

"No." he whispered. "I should have just… gotten over him found somebody who could love me back."

"Oh Greg." Sara sighed. "Do you want me to come over?"

"Please."

"Ok give me ten minutes."

"Thanks Sara you are the best."

"Only for you Greg." Greg hung up the phone the tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. How could the best day of his life turn out so wrong?

Nick pulled into the driveway of the house he shared with Lori and closed his eyes; he hoped she was still asleep because he not feel like fighting. He walked into the house and was greeted by an eerie silence, she was not up yet.

"Nicholas Stokes, you had me worried to death." He winced at the sound of her voice and wondered if she had been up all night.

"I'm sorry Lori, it's just we went out to celebrate Greg's promotion and I crashed at his place." _Yeah I sure did crash. _

"Oh." She frowned. "You have called."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"I thought maybe you got hurt or something."

"I'm fine really." _Just the fact that I slept with my best friend who is a guy. _

"Ok, now come to bed we still have time."

"I need to shower first." He needed to get Greg's scent off of him, the scent of sex.

"Just come to bed."

"I'm smell like cigarettes from the club Lori, it won't be long."

"All right, just hurry." She said as she gave him a soft kiss. This was what he liked the touch of woman. He stood in the shower as the water cascaded over him, he wanted to scrub his skin raw so he's have no trace of Greg's hands on him, nothing to remember. He leaned his head against the shower and then cried because try as he might he couldn't get Greg out his mind, could not wash Greg away. It was slowly killing him. He never wanted this, never wanted Greg until the very moment their lips touched. Damn Greg for making him rethink his perfect life, it was Lori he wanted not Greg if only he could make himself believe it.

Greg and Sara drove into work that night together and Greg was dreading what the night would bring how Nick would treat him.

"Don't let it bother you Greg, just act the same."

"How can I Sara? I will look at him and it will all come rushing back."

"Greg this has got to stop or it's going to end up destroying you."

"I know, I know." He stopped when he saw Nick and Lori at the reception desk, his heart fell to his knees as he watched Lori kiss Nick goodbye. He could do this he had his one night with Nick; Nick was still going to marry Lori. Greg watched Lori wave goodbye and Nick turned their eyes meeting for the first time since that night. Nick paled and quickly looked away; Greg closed his eyes and tried not to cry. They weren't even friends anymore, it was all gone disappeared the moment Nick took him.

"Come on Greg." Sara tugged in his arm.

"Right." He was a grown man he would not break down, he could handle it. Nick was already seated next to Warrick and Greg sat down as far away from him as possible.

"Ok Catherine, Warrick, Sara, and I have triple homicide at a strip club. Greg you and Nick DB at the Stardust." He couldn't believe it out of all the days, Grissom never paired them together anymore and now this. He was pretty sure God and Grissom hated him. "What are you waiting for, let's go." They did not say anything as they walked to the Denali, Greg didn't even bug Nick to drive like he normally did. Greg wished he was with Sara and not stuck with a person who probably hated him.

"Why'd you do it?" Nick asked once they were in the car.

"Do what?"

"Proposition me, I was drunk Greg."

"Don't you dare turn this on me Nick." Greg hissed. "You kissed me first."

"I am no gay Greg, nor would I bat for both teams."

"Well you should have thought about that before you shoved your tongue down my throat."

"Well you should have stopped me."

"I tried or don't you remember? You wanted just as much."

"I never wanted to be a fag Greg."

"Are you sure because you seemed to like it the way you were moaning my name." Greg sneered at him. "At least I am comfortable with who I am."

"I am comfortable because I'm straight and I have a beautiful fiancé."

"Keep on lying to yourself Stokes."

"Just shut the hell up Greg, this conversation is over."

"Fine then this friendship is over."

"Fine, it didn't mean that much to me anyway." Nick spat out and the statement made Greg wince, that had stung. "Greg I…"

"I get it Nick, just don't talk to me."

"But…"

"Don't talk; I do not want to hear it we have a job to do." Greg then closed his eyes and only hoped the case they had was open and shut.

Sara found him in the locker room after shift silent tears were rolling down his cheeks and her heart broke.

"Greg…"

"It's stupid really, he was right I really am to blame for this mess."

"You said he kissed you."

"He did, and I should have had enough sense to stop it, but I wanted it so bad."

"What did he say to you Greg?"

"That he wasn't a fag and our friendship did mean anything to him."

"Oh Greg." She said as she wrapped him in a hug. "I'm so sorry, he is an asshole."

"He's not an asshole Sara."

"Yes he is Greg; look at what he is doing to you."

"I did this to myself." He whispered. "God is punishing me."

"No Greg God is not punishing you."

"I just need to…I just need to be alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, just for a little bit."

"Ok." Sara sighed. "But if you need me…"

"I know I will call."

"You promise?"

"I swear."

"Ok then." She said as she kissed his cheek softly.

"You'll be ok?"

"Yes Sara go."

"Uh Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"You rode with me remember?"

"Oh right." He laughed. "Just uh drop me off then."

"Ok." She nodded.

* * *

Nick watched as Sara and Greg exited the building together and he wondered if there was something going on between them. _Why do you care? _The voice in the back of his whispered to him, _you're not gay remember? _Nick shook his head, this whole thing was crazy he loved Lori end of story. He was certainly not jealous of Sara Sidle, it did not bother him they were getting in the same car or that Sara was making him smile. Why was he even dwelling on this?

"Yo Nick you ok?"

"Huh what?"

"Are you ok man?"

"Oh yeah Rick, peachy." He gave a slight smile. "Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Greg and Sara have something going on?"

"Sometimes I look at them and yeah I think maybe they do, but others I think they are just really close friends. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." He shrugged. "Just curious."

"Man I f they are that would be great, they both really need to get laid."

"Yeah." No it didn't matter, he was ok with it Greg could sleep with whoever he wanted.

"Are you sure you're ok man?"

"Yes fine, I'll catch you later Rick."

"Ok, bye bro."

"Yeah bye." But his mind was still on Greg and Sara and the relationship that most certainly did not bother him.

Greg waved goodbye to Sara and walked into his apartment. His head was aching after his case with Nick and he wanted to do was forget. They only spoke to each other in clipped tones after their argument; even then they kept silent if they could. Sofia even called them on it and they both shrugged it off stating silence was better to work in. He hoped Grissom would not pair them together again that night when he returned to work, he really did not know if he could handle it. He walked back to his bedroom, realizing the sheets still smelled of Nick. He walked over and ripped them off the bed dropping them to the floor. He would be burning them that he was sure of, Nick's scent would not go away by just a simple washing. He really did not think he could even stand to be in his own bedroom because every time he closed his eyes he saw Nick.

"Oh God what the fuck have I done?" he choked out as he collapsed on the floor clutching the sheets to his chest.

* * *

Nick collapsed on his couch completely drained from his frustrating day. He knew he was stupid to tell Greg their friendship had meant nothing when it reality it meant everything. He couldn't help himself though he was so angry at Greg, at himself for what had happened.

"Nicky, you look upset are you ok?" Lori asked as she sat down behind him massaging his shoulders.

"It was just a tough case."

"You can't let it get to you." She said as she kissed his neck.

"I know that." He sighed. "It's just…" _I slept with Greg and we had to work together. _Yeah that was sure to go over well if he told her that.

"Just what baby?"

"Nothing, I just want to forget."

"Ok." She whispered. He leaned into kiss her pushing her down on the couch; this was what he liked Lori underneath him screaming his name. Greg was a mistake, a memory that would forget.


	4. Seeking Comfort

(I). Greg and Jack (Daniels)

It had been one month, one month to the date he got promoted to a CSI, one month since he slept with Nick. They were cordial at work, but Greg assumed Nick had already replaced him as best friend because Warrick now had the title of best man. No one questioned as to why the sudden change but their behavior said it all. Grissom even picked up on it pairing them together less and less which he was thankful for. He supposed if they wouldn't even speak to each other there was a minimal chance of solving the case efficiently. Sometimes he wished like hell he could take that night back, he could live with not knowing how Nick felt inside him, but he could not live without Nick's friendship. His best friend had become the bottle and he drank alone in the comfort of his home most every night. He was a good actor though and he hid his hangovers well, which was a feat in itself because CSIs were supposed to notice everything. He was really surprised Sara hadn't picked up on it, or if she did she wasn't saying anything yet. He had taken to carrying a small bottle of Jack to pour in his coffee while at work. He would surely be fired if he got caught, but at that point he really didn't give a damn. Lori had taken to coming into visit Nick more often and Greg wanted to gag every time he saw them.

"Who are you trying to fool Greg?" Sara asked as she sat down next to him.

"Don't know what you are talking about." He said as he took a large gulp of his coffee wincing as it traveled down his throat.

"From one alcoholic to another Greg."

"I'm not an alcoholic Sara."

"I wasn't either." She said in all seriousness. "I know that's just not cream in that coffee."

"I'm fine Sara, just need a little buzz."

"So you put liquor in your coffee while on the clock? I thought you were smarted than that Greg."

"I am, but you have hit a rough patch."

"Don't do this Greg please or I will be forced to go to Grissom."

"You wouldn't."

"I would if I had to Greg, but I don't want to."

"Just don't worry about me Sara."

"How can I not Greg? You are the closest thing to brother I have, so of course I am worried."

"Don't worry about me, I am fine." He said standing up with a slight sway. "Really I am." Sara closed her eyes as she watched him walk away; he wasn't fine no matter what he told her.

Greg was restless having finished all the beer he had in his house, now all he wanted to do was dance. He way too drunk to get to a club on his own and he knew Sara wouldn't tolerate him and probably drag him straight to an alcoholic's anonymous meeting so she was out. He'd have to call one of his friends outside of work; he really hadn't spent a lot of time with them since he got promoted anyway.

"Adam hey it's Greg, you going out tonight? Sweet yeah can you pick me up? Great see you in ten bye." This was just what he needed, he needed to live again he hadn't been out since that night and since he had the night off he was going to enjoy himself. He hadn't seen Adam in awhile, but when they got together it was party central and boy was he looking forward to it. He heard his phone ring but he didn't want to answer, he had a hunch on who it would it be.

_"Hey you know what to do…"_

_"Greg its Sara please pick up Greg…fine call me back I guess." _Greg would most certainly not be calling her back anytime soon; he had a date with party time.

"Greg you know I was surprised when you called."

"Yeah, I've been busy with the new promotion and all, but I needed some time for me." Greg said as he took a drink of his third jack and coke since getting to the bar.

"Dude why don't you slow down a bit on the drinks."

"Oh come on Adam live a little." Greg knew he was way gone, but he did not care drinking gave him comfort.

"Greg man, you've had too much."

"Now, I am feeling good and ready to dance." He swallowed the rest of his drink down in one gulp and pushed himself away from the bar and to the dance floor. He knew he was hot and he was hoping for a little action, he didn't need Nick Stokes that was for sure.

"Greg?" Greg looked up at the familiar voice and his smile grew wide.

"Bernard!" he exclaimed throwing himself at his ex boyfriend. "Wow, you look so hot."

"And so you do Greg, you were always hot."

"Don't I know it." Greg giggled, boy was he lit he was giggling like a school girl.

"So are you seeing anybody?"

"Nope, I am single."

"A guy as hot as you single?"

"Yep, what you looking to hook up Bernard?"

"Greg you don't even have to ask." Bernard said as he pulled Greg to him pushing their lips together. Greg remembered why he had liked Bernard so much; he was a damn good kisser. "Let's take this somewhere more private."

"Ok." Greg gasped breathily, sleeping with his ex may have not been the brightest idea but it was what he needed to forget.

Greg blinked his eyes blearily and rolled over smack into a warm body. _Oh dear God please don't let it be Nick. _The body moved and Greg caught a glimpse of his bed partner. Bernard. Bernard Shaw was his first serious relationship since Riley, well his first relationship while he was distracting himself from Nick. He felt like an asshole now because here he was using Bernard as a distraction again.

"Who's Nick?" the voice startled him and he noticed Bernard's eyes were wide open.

"What?"

"Who is Nick?"

"Uh, why?"

"Because it was his name you cried out last night." Greg paled and cursed his stupid mouth.

"He's…"

"He's the reason we broke up in the first place isn't it?"

"Bernard I..."

"No it's ok, I understand."

"No it's just…Nick is someone I work with we've only slept together once and that was because we were both trashed…"

"Greg he must mean something to you if you thought of him while we were fucking."

"No he doesn't mean anything…" Why was he even lying to himself?

"Greg you always were a horrible liar."

"I fell for him long ago." Greg sighed. " I couldn't help it, if you saw him you'd understand and I can't get him out of my head, but we do not even speak to each other anymore."

"You're only setting yourself up to get hurt Greg."

"Don't I know that, I am so fucked up I can't even make myself get over him."

"You're chasing a dream." Bernard said softly as he reached out to touch Greg's Cheek. "Chase something that is real." Greg closed his eyes, but all he could see was Nick and the tears fell to his cheeks.

"I can't."

* * *

(II). Nick and Lori

Nick knew the only way to get things (Greg) off his mind was to throw himself into the wedding, become so immersed that it was all he thought about.

"Lori, how about November?"

"November for what baby?"

"The wedding."

"You mean you finally want to pick a date?"

"Yep." He smiled.

"Oh I think it's perfect." She gushed coming over to wrap her arms around him. "Why November?"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "It'll give us some more time and I like November."

"Me too." She smiled snuggling into him. "So wedding party?"

"Well uh Warrick is the best man and my brother Todd and Kevin are the groomsmen and my oldest sister's youngest Alec is the ring bearer."

"Warrick? I thought Greg was."

"Oh I didn't tell you? Greg is uh going out town that weekend family business."

"Oh, well I always liked Warrick better anyway." Nick frowned at her. "Oh honey I didn't mean anything by it." She laughed.

"Ok, who are yours?"

"Well Catherine and Lindsey are bride's maids and my sister Casey is the made of honor and her little girl Nancy is the flower girl."

"Well it looks like it is coming together then."

"Oh Nick don't be silly we have so much more to do the flowers, the invitations, the reception, my dress, the girl's dresses, tuxes, the cake…"

"Ok, ok I get it don't say anymore."

"Oh it will all be fine Nick, you'll see." She said as she kissed him. "Now let's forget about the wedding for awhile."

"Ok." He breathed out as her lips met his.

Nick had become a master at avoidance; he and Greg managed to get out of working with each other since the night "it" happened. Sometimes though he found himself thinking about Greg, but then his mind would drift off to the way Greg had felt under him and the feel of his kiss and he didn't want that because Greg wasn't what he wanted. He still got the feeling that Greg and Sara were in some sort o relationship and it bothered him more than it should have. He had noticed things though, the way Greg's behavior had radically changed and the conversation he overheard wouldn't stop plaguing his mind. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but he was craving coffee and stopped short when her heard the familiar voices.

"From one alcoholic to another Greg."

"I am not an alcoholic Sara."

"I wasn't either; I know that is not cream in your coffee."

"I'm fine Sara, just need a little buzz."

"So you put liquor in your coffee while on the clock, I thought you were smarter than that Greg."

"I am, but I've hit a rough patch." Nick didn't want to hear anymore and he backed away from the break room. He did not want to believe Greg was drowning himself in alcohol because of hom.

"Nick?"

"Uh yeah Rick?"

"We got a case you coming?"

"Yeah." He said as he watched Greg stumble as he stood up. "Let's go."

Nick couldn't that image out of Greg out of his head and he paid more attention when he could without Greg noticing. He was slowly destroying himself over this and Nick felt responsible.

"There you are I was about to call you, we're late."

"Late? Late for what?"

"The meeting with the minister Nick."

"That was today?"

"Yes now come on." She grabbed his hand and yanked him out the door. Nick didn't even want to think about the meeting or the wedding because despite efforts not to dwell on Greg he couldn't stop thinking about him.

The church was beautiful in its own right big and glorious and not directly on the strip which was a good thing.

"Nick?"

"Huh what?"

"I thought Warrick was your best man?"  
"He is."

"Then why did you write down Greg's name?" she said as she slid the piece of paper toward him.

"Oh, I don't know why. I'll fix it." He said as he scribbled out the name he hadn't realized he wrote down.

"Nick is there something you are not telling me?"

"No." He wondered he should be lying in church.

"I don't believe you in fact I don't think Greg has other plans because we just now picked the date and you already had changed to Warrick."

"Well we had a falling out and I just…we just aren't that close anymore."

"Oh Nicky." She soothed. "I'm sorry, you know I wasn't joking the other day when I said I liked Warrick better, I never liked Greg."

"Lori…"

"Don't defend Nick. You said yourself you're not friends anymore I think it's better for you." Nick didn't want to believe her, but maybe she was right. It was better when Greg wasn't around he wouldn't remember the feel of Greg's skin against his.

Later that night as he and Lori kissed he told himself as he did all the time now that this was what he needed what he wanted, the way Lori felt beneath was right. He liked her small slender figure and not the feel of Greg's abs or how soft his hair really was when he touched it.

"God Nicky you're an animal tonight." Lori moaned out, but as he came to kiss her again one thing was made clear in his mind, it was his thoughts of Greg that were making him hard. It was not sweet beautiful Lori who was currently moaning him name. As he pushed into her one last time he had to bite his lip as he came because he was sure it would be Greg's name he would be screaming out.


	5. Falling in Again

Nick had to admit the wedding was coming along better than expected, Lori was a pro and he mostly just let her handle it. Work was even getting better only because he and Greg barely saw each other anymore which for him was a good thing. He had managed to push away all thoughts of Greg and he could properly focus on Lori and their other activities. Although he found himself waking up in the middle of the night more recently sweaty and sometimes sticky from an intense dream that involved Greg. He was thankful Lori was such a sound sleeper he could get out of bed and clean himself off without waking her up. Other than that, Nick was slowly forgetting that night and he hoped soon he would forget it ever happened.

Greg was suffering and it was to the point where someone other than Sara was going to notice. He stopped drinking coffee all the time and just settled for a beer before work, sometimes two. He went out all the time and slept with anyone that would fall into bed with him male or female. Lately it had been guys with southern drawls and dark hair, ones that always reminded him of Nick. Sara didn't say much to him concerning his recent behavior and he's glad she has finally left it alone. He knows he is on a path to self destruction but he really didn't care there wasn't much left for him anyway.

Greg wasn't in a good mood Sara had actually called in sick and now he was stuck with the one person he did not want to be with. Damn her anyhow. Now he really wished he hadn't forgotten his flask at home or had at least two more beers.

"You better be dying Sara, that's all I have to say." Sure it wasn't the nicest message to leave on her machine, but he was to mad to be nice.

"Hey Greg Nick is looking for you."

"Yeah Cath I know, I'm on my way."

"Greg…" she said as she caught him by the arm.

"What?"

"I'm not stupid Greg and no matter how many breath mints you take it will still smell like beer."

"I'm not…"

"Think about what you are doing Greg." Was all she said as she walked away. Damn he really needed to stop being so obvious.

"It's about time you showed up." Nick said in a slightly irritated voice as he leaned up against the Denali. Greg almost forgot they weren't speaking because Nick looked so good and when they were still friends Greg would have teased him, but not now, now they were strangers.

"Whatever Nick." He muttered and climbed into the passenger seat, this was going to be hell.

* * *

Nick was in turmoil now because all those feelings he had thought he suppressed were now coming back full force the moment he saw Greg. The ride to the crime scene was silent and Nick missed the time when he and Greg could talk about anything, one night had ruined it all. _No you ruined it asshole. _Nick's mind spat out at him. _Ruined it when you said your friendship meant nothing. _

"So what is the case? Grissom just told me I was with you."

"Body found in a dumpster behind a grocery store, no id."

"Great." Greg grumbled. Nick only sighed and focused on driving.

The scene as it was once they got there was determined a body dump and they would have to trace back to the original crime scene. That meant they would not be getting rid of each other soon.

"I never wanted this Greg." Nick finally spoke up some hours later as they were on their way back to the lab.

"Then you shouldn't have said what you did Nick."

"Don't try and make me feel guilty Greg it won't work."

"Then don't talk we have a case to do and hopefully Sara will be better tomorrow and I won't have to look at you."

"Fine." The tension oozed between them after that and everyone just steered clear of them waiting for the inevitable blow out.

* * *

"Nick the evidence is pointing to the brother I don't care what you think."

"Why would Harold Gibbons kill his own twin?"

"Because Timothy was different, Timothy was gay." Nick pretended not to notice Greg emphasized the word gay.

"You don't know that, it had to be the friend Todd."

"Nick you are so blind you don't want to see the truth."

"I see that Todd killed Timothy Gibbons and dumped the body and framed Harold Gibbons."

"Todd wouldn't kill Timothy."

"It's very probable."

"Timothy and Todd were lovers Nick, Harold found this out and killed Timothy he couldn't believe that his own brother was gay, his twin even the evidence says it all."

"You're too caught up in this; you're letting your emotions guide you."

"No Nick you are letting your emotions guide you, I am following the evidence and it all points to Harold Gibbons. Now I am going to bring him in whether you like or not."

"I outrank you Greg, you can't do anything."

"Watch me." He spat out and stormed away.

"Dammit." Nick cursed as he slammed his fist down on the table.

Nick didn't want to look Greg in the eyes as he watched Harold Gibbons being taken away by Brass, he did not want to admit he was wrong. Greg was currently telling Todd that they got the person who killed his boyfriend. The kid looked distraught and was clutching Greg's arm as he told him. Nick couldn't take it and looked away, he had let his prejudice cloud his judgment all because he still kept telling himself he was not gay.

"Listen Greg I…"

"Don't even try to apologize Nick you were out of line, you doubted the evidence and me."

"I know and…" he paused drawing in a deep breath. "You're a great CSI Greg."

"Saying that won't make it better, things are never going to be the same Nick."

"I know."

* * *

Greg felt drained as he made his way up to Sara's apartment, he was tired but he wanted to see if she was feeling better.

"Greg? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you how you were feeling."

"Oh so now you care after leaving that nasty message."

"I'm sorry I was just upset they put me with Nick."

"And how did that go?"

"Badly, we clashed and he did not want to believe me or the evidence."

"What was the case?"

"We found the body of Timothy Gibbons in a dumpster; he was killed by his twin brother because he was gay."

"That's terrible."

"And Nick wanted to pin the boyfriend, but I knew it was not him."

"How?"

"Because he talked about Timothy like he was God himself and I know sincerity and grief when I see it, but Nick wouldn't budge."

"I'm sorry Greg."

"No it's ok really, we got the guy and Nick looked miserable."

"When is it going to end Greg? I know you are going to go home and drink it's all you ever do."

"I have nothing else Sara, nothing."

"Well I am not going to preach to you because I have already done that, it's your life Greg."

"And it sucks, I'll be fine Sara in due time."

"No you won't because you'll never get over Nick." Greg didn't respond because he knew she was right.

* * *

Nick felt like the biggest ass in the world, how could he have doubted Greg when the evidence was clearly pointing to Harold Gibbons.

"Nick, are you ok?"

"I'm good at my job right?"

"The best Nicky." Lori said as she sat down next to him. "What's wrong?"

"I questioned the evidence and I didn't believe my partner when he was right."

"Oh baby, what was the case?"

"A man killed his twin brother because he was gay."

"And you are torn up over it? The guy was gay Nicky it's a sin."

"And you condone that? The killing of a man because he was gay."

"It's wrong." Nick couldn't believe he was hearing this, a prejudice side of Lori he never knew.

"It's not right to judge."

"How can one man love another Nick?"

"It's love, plain and simple."

"No it's not, you wanna know why I don't like Greg? It's because he is gay."

"How do you even know that?"

"I have been out with you guys Nick, I notice things. I am glad you are not hanging out with him anymore."

"Yeah." Nick swallowed the lump in his throat, if it was wrong why did it feel so right?

* * *

"Please Sara, I need to go out."

"You go out all the time Greg I will not contribute to your self destruction."

"I won't drink I swear, I just want to dance."

"Like I believe that."

"I just need to forget about Nick not even trusting me, please Sara."

"Fine, but only pop for you."

"Ok, ok I get it let's just go."

Greg liked to go to a different club every time he went out, but lately he had been frequenting Strobe, the club he and Nick used to go to the club they were at the night of his promotion.

"I don't know why you like it here Greg."

"I just do, now go get me a pop since you won't let me go near the bar."

"Ok, stay put."

"Fine." He wished Sara would stop treating him like a baby, but he guessed it was because cared for him so much. He scanned the crowd to see if there were any good contenders when his eyes landed on a familiar couple, Nick and Lori. Of all the nights, he groaned and laid his head on the table, he hated his life.

"Greg are you ok?"

"Look on the dance floor." He grumbled.

"Oh I see, Nick and Lori."

"Yep, God does hate me." He said as he looked at them again grinding against each other.

"We can leave."

"No I am not going to run away, and watching her attempt to grind is kinda funny."

"Wow, she really can't dance."

"I know, isn't it great." He smirked.

"You get pleasure out of the little things don't you?"

"I sure do." Although he was hurting for a little jack in his coke, but he promised Sara and he intended to honor that promise.

"Would you like to dance?" Greg looked up at the voice to see a very hot guy asking Sara to dance. She gave him a look, as if asking if it was ok to leave him alone.

"Go Sara, have fun." She gave him a huge grin and followed Mr. Hottie to the dance floor. That meant Greg could watch Nick without chastising him. Nick looked good as always and Lori was just distracting because she looked so stupid. Greg only hoped Nick wouldn't see him or Sara then he would know Greg was not too far away. He took as sip of his coke and grimaced, Sara was distracted so he could sneak up to the bar and she would never know, promised be dammed. Clearly his decision was made when he saw Nick and Lori start to make out, he needed the alcohol now.

"Can I get another coke please with some hard stuff in it this time?"

"Sure." The bartender grinned and gave him a jack and coke that was more jack than coke and he liked that. He looked back to the dance floor to find Lori gone, but Nick was still out there dancing away and damn he looked good. Close to him was Sara and her partner and Greg decided it was time to cut in.

"Excuse me; I think I'll take my fiancé back now." Greg said as he slid in, Sara gave him a look that could have killed him.

"You're engaged?" the asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"I'm not…"

"Now don't lie honey, I think you should go now." The looked dejected but walked away anyway.

"Greg! Why in the hell did you do that!? We were connecting."

"I needed to dance." He shrugged and Sara looked over her shoulder and frowned.

"Yeah because Nick is right over there."

"No…ok fine yes, grind with me."

"I hate you."

"I know." He grinned.

Nick sorta hoped Lori would take forever in the bathroom because despite his feelings for her she was a terrible dancer. He craned his neck to look for her and his eyes landed on two very familiar people, Greg and Sara, more specifically Greg. He and Sara looked so natural together and Nick felt that feeling of jealousy creep up again. There was always something about watching Greg dance that was do hot. Nick found himself getting a little excited below the belt and that was very bad he needed to get off the dance floor now.

"Nicky where are you going?"

"Bathroom."

"Ok, I'll be at the table." He nodded and washed into the bathroom, hoping that away from Greg his erection would go away.

Greg knew following Nick would be a bad idea and he really couldn't blame the alcohol because he only had one drink. He knew Nick was fired up now and that is why he had to hide away in the bathroom.

"Nick…"

"Greg…" he swallowed hard, what was going on? This was something different because they were both sober. "I…uh, I'm still sorry about the case."

"Oh come on Nick let's not talk not about work in the dirty bathroom of Strobe."

"What happened to us Greg?"

"Oh let's see we fucked, you freaked, and our friendship was destroyed, anything else I missed?"

"Why can't we move past this?"

"Because you won't come to terms with yourself."

"Oh there you go again, I know who I am Greg."

"Yeah? I know who you are too; you're a coward who hides behind a lie!"

"That's not true, just shut up."

"Fine, I was just leaving anyway." Greg really needed to get out of there, needed to tell Sara he's catch a cab home, he needed to be as far away from Nick as possible.

_Where did I go wrong?_

_I can't look at you in the edge_

_Feeling so ashamed_

_It feels like I could die_

_Hold me up_

_And don't let go_

_I've had enough_

Nick could feel the music pounding in his ears as he watched Greg exit the bathroom. He didn't know what was coming over him, but he could not let Greg walk away again. His feet began to move and just before Greg could disappear into the crowd completely he reached out and grabbed Greg by the wrist.

"Nick, what the fuck?"

"Just…don't go not yet." He pulled Greg back into the bathroom, not sure exactly what he wanted to accomplish.

"Nick let me go. I don't want to argue anymore, just let me go home."

"No." And then Nick was shoving him up against the dirty wall in a crushing kiss that took his breath away.

_I'm tired of breathing_

_Tired of feeling_

_Tired of looking at the past for meaning_

_Tired of running_

_Tired of searching_

_Tired of trying_

_But I'm not tired of you _

Greg couldn't push Nick away if he wanted to and he pushed himself into the kiss and didn't care if someone walked in on them because they weren't drunk and this was real. He moaned into the kiss as Nick ran his hands down the length of his body, making him hard in seconds. Greg wasn't letting go this time because this was like coming home.

_I'm losing everything_

_Is something I can't face_

_Hope is on the run_

_It's something I can't take_

_Hold me up_

_And don't let go_

_I've had enough_

Nick did not know what he was thinking but pressing Greg up against the wall and kissing him senseless was the best idea he ever had. He could feel Greg's erection against his and that only fueled the kiss more as he slipped his hands underneath Greg's shirt, feeling the tight skin.

"Nicky…are you in there? I'm getting worried." Her voice broke them apart and Nick backed away from Greg. He bet he looked just like Greg swollen lips and all.

"You better go."

"Greg…"

"Go Nick." Nick cast one more look at Greg and made his way out of the bathroom. Greg watched him leave then slide down the wall and buried his face in his hands and cried.

Nick knew he was crazy, but Lori was sound asleep when he left and he had to do this.

"Nick? Why are you here?" He did not answer just shoved Greg back into his house, kissing him with all the feelings he could not voice. He wasn't sure what was happening but he knew if he stopped kissing Greg nothing would ever be right.


	6. Demands that Break Us

Greg fell back against his bed as he let Nick take over all control and he let himself enjoy the pleasure he was receiving. A moan escaped his lips and he closed his eyes while Nick worked his magic. It had been like this ever since the night Nick showed up on his doorstep and they had been seeing each other in secret since. Greg knew it was wrong what they were doing, that he was essentially the other woman to Nick, but he did not think he could make himself stop.

"Nick…" he groaned as he felt Nick's lips leave his skin.

"Just feel." Nick breathed into his ear as he crushed their lips together. So that's what Greg did he let Nick take him into bliss, feeling everything.

* * *

Nick felt like the worst man in the world, he felt like he was living two separated lives. His life with Lori was the one deemed normal the one that was supposed to be right. It was the one with Greg that left him craving for more every time he left Greg's house. It left him feeling confused because he didn't even know why he was having this tryst with Greg; he was getting married in one month to be exact.

"Nick is there something you are not telling me?"

"What? No just tired."  
"You've been working a lot lately it seems like you are barely here."

"We have had a lot of cases."

"You know I'll always support you Nick, but you're working too much."

"I'll be fine." He said as he as kissed her lips, her kiss wasn't like Greg's kiss and it was then he realized that he wished it was Greg he was kissing right now.

"You promise?"  
"I promise." He sighed. When had his life became so complicated?

* * *

Lori Quincy was not a dumb person despite being very blonde, in fact she was very smart and Nick was a very bad liar. His behavior had changed since that night they went out to Strobe and she knew it had something to do with Greg Sanders. Nick might have thought she hadn't of seen Greg that night, but she did and he was up to something. From the moment she met Greg she knew he was trouble, the way Nick always talked about him, always hung out with him she had to put a stop to it. And put a stop to it she did, she had pulled the lonely girlfriend card complaining he spent more time with Greg than he did her. It worked like a charm and two weeks later he hardly saw Greg anymore which was exactly what she wanted. When Nick had told her Greg was out of the wedding she had been elated and the hope Greg was almost out of Nick's life was growing. Now though she had a major problem, Greg was slowly making his way back into Nick's life and that would just not do. She had to put a stop to it immediately before Greg fully had Nick's attention again.

* * *

Greg knew that look, it was the same look he got from her every time she was mad or she was sick of him dwelling on Nick too long.

"What?"

"You really are fucked up aren't you?"

"Thanks Sara." He muttered. "That makes me feel oh so good."

"Well it's true, what are you doing Greg? You know he won't leave Lori yet you still have sex with him."

"It's hard to stop once you have started, I crave him Sara."

"He's going to hurt you Greg; you know that I'm tired of seeing you like this."

"I can't make myself pull away." He whispered. "I want to believe I'm the one he'll choose, that I'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, I'm the one he loves."

"Greg he can't even be honest with himself, how do you expect him to be honest with you?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "But God knows I have tried to quit him."

"I can't help you Greg."

"It's my own problem Sara; I've got to deal with it."

"Like you are now?"

"I'll be fine Sara, just trust me."

"I'll try." In all reality she was scared to death for him because she was sure he would be falling apart very soon.

* * *

They were casual at work, as casual as they could be with the sexual need floating around them every time they passed each other. Sometimes though Nick just wanted to shove Greg into the closest closet and suck him off right there. The need was becoming very overwhelming and usually he could suppress the feeling, but today with Greg wearing those tight pants it was becoming very hard not to jump him.

"Nick man are you ok? You seem distressed."

"What? No Rick, just thinking about the wedding." This was a blatant lie because Greg was in full view now and the wedding was the last thing on his mind.

"Yeah, it seems like it got here pretty fast."

"Yeah." His throat suddenly went dry when Greg bent over to pick up some papers that had fallen.

"Nick?"

"What?"

"Man you keep spacing out, what has got you distracted?"

"Nothing." Only it was everything, it was Greg, it was this feeling and it was his whole life falling apart.

Greg could feel the eyes on him, knew exactly whose eyes it was. Nick never made a move at and neither did he, but the need was becoming overwhelming to just slam Nick up against the wall. Damn why was everything so hard? Why was did he need Nick like he needed water and air? Why was he breaking to pieces when they weren't with each other? Why was he letting himself fall in love with a man that would never love him back?

It did not shock him that later he found himself pressed up against one of the lockers, it dug into his back as Nick devoured his mouth. Sure it wasn't the smartest thing to do, knowing they were in the locker room where anyone could walk in. They both needed it though; both craved it more than anything in the world. Greg let out a moan as Nick grounded his hips against his own; this could get way out of hand very fast.

"Nick…" Greg groaned out. "We need to stop, not here."

"You're right." Nick breathed out before he captured Greg's lips again.

"Now Nick." Nick reluctantly pulled back and silently ran his hand along Greg's cheek. It was the most intimate touch they ever had because usually it was just frantic sex and the simple touch made Greg believe maybe Nick did have deeper feelings for him.

"Nick? Greg? You in here?" Catherine's voice floated into the locker room and they backed away from each other trying to hide the fact they had just made out.

* * *

Lori was a woman on a mission as she pulled up to Greg's house seeing his car in the driveway she knew he was home. She was going to make sure Greg was gone for good, Nick did not need him complicate their life together.

"Lori?"

"I'll get right down to business Sanders." She said as she pushed her way into his house.

"Sure come on in." muttered as he glared at her. "So why are you barging into my home unwelcome?"

"I've come here to tell you how it is."

"How what is pray tell?"

"You need to stay away from Nick, I know your game Sanders and you won't win."

"You can't tell me what to do, Nick is my friend."

"Hmmm if he was then why aren't you best man anymore?"

"Because."

"Because? That's not a very good answer Greg."

"Why don't you leave? I did not even ask you to come in, you just barged your in here."

"Like you did into Nick's life."

"Oh please, I was here first Lori I knew him before you even knew he existed."

"But he listened to me when I wanted him to spend more time with me, I know you're after him. I've got news for you Greggo he likes pussy not dick." She hissed at him.

"Are you sure?" _Why is he then always begging me for more?_

"Nick's not gay and you won't corrupt him."

_Oh I already did. _He could not say that to her oh he wanted to really wanted to but he couldn't get the words off his tongue.

"You can't keep me away we see each other everyday at work; you can't keep us away from each other at work."

"It does not matter after work you stay away from him, you are a sinner Greg Sanders."

"Then I guess I'll see you in hell Lori Quincy." She gaped at him and went to slap him, but he caught her wrist. "Don't even think about it."

"I can cry rape."

"I like dick remember? And you barged into my home."

"This is not over." She said as she yanked her arm away from him.

"I believe it is now, please leave." He said as he held the door open for her. She only glared at him as she passed and he hoped she fell down the stairs on her way out.

* * *

After his confrontation with Lori Greg felt he needed to talk to Nick, to know what the hell it was they were doing. He did not want to admit it, but it was breaking him down slowly and he was finding it hard to pick up the pieces. He couldn't be the "other" person anymore, he wanted to be the only person and he had a feeling he never would be. He had to know though, because it was tearing him up inside to want Nick so much.

"You know what he is going to say Greg."

"I need to know."

"You're hurting enough as it is already."

"It won't leave me alone until I ask."

"Greg…"

"You were right Sara I can't keep on living like this anymore."

"I'll be here for you then."

"I know, you always are."

Greg had intended on telling Nick as soon as he showed up, but that plan had gone out the window when Nick sucked him off in his hallway. He really needed to work on his willpower.

"Nick?" he asked later as they lay naked and sated on Greg's bed.

"Yeah?"

"Stay?" Nick sat up to look at him, Nick never stayed he always went back home to Lori.

"Greg you know I can't."

"Then this is all we have then?"

"Greg you knew…"

"I knew nothing! You came here that night and shoved your tongue down my throat, but you never said anything not a damn word!"

"I figured you knew what this was."

"Trying to get your gayness out before you settle down Nick? It's not something you can get rid of."

"This was all fun Greg, I'm still marrying Lori."

"So I was just your little boy toy when Lori couldn't get you off?"

"No Greg…"

"I can't believe how fucking stupid I've been! Letting myself believe you felt something more, Sara was right."

"Greg please understand…"

"Oh I understand alright, all of this is my fault really because I knew I'd only end up the trash on the side, the experiment for you. Go back home to Lori and don't expect to be welcome back here anymore. You wanna marry her? Go ahead I don't need this."

"Greg I…"

"Get out of here Nick! Just leave!" Nick pulled his clothes on quickly and took one last look at Greg who had his face buried in his knees.

"Goodbye Greg." He whispered. He pretended not to notice the pain in his heart as he walked away.

"Sara…"

"I'm on my way Greg just hang on."

"Please Sara I need you."

"I know baby, I know." Sara hung up her phone and cursed Nick Stokes to hell.

Nick really did not know how long he sat in his driveway; he just couldn't make himself go in there knowing it was Loir waiting for him. He knew this thing with Greg wouldn't last forever and he knew all along he'd go back to Lori, but he liked the feel of Greg against him skin to skin. He wiped the tears from his eyes he did not know had fallen and got out of his truck. He took a deep breath and walked towards the life he chose, the life he thought he wanted, now he was not so sure.

Greg ultimately knew what he had to do when he walked into work the next night seeing Nick and Lori standing by the reception desk telling Judy about the wedding. He could not even stand to look at them knowing Nick could never be his. There was only one option left and even though he hated it he had to do it. The only way he wouldn't think about Nick was to be far away from as possible. He knew deep in his heart the time had come to leave Vegas, for good.


	7. Leaving Las Vegas

"You can't be serious Greg!" Sara screeched at him. "You're running away."

"It's the only way Sara I can't be here anymore. I just can't." he sighed. "I've destroyed myself enough, no more."

"Where will go? Back to San Francisco?"

"No, Miami."

"Miami? Why so far away?"

"I have a friend who works at the crime lab; he said they were looking for a DNA tech."

"And you'd go back to a job you hated just to be away from Nick?"

"Yes." He sighed.

"Have you talked to Grissom yet?"

"No, I've been putting it off but I guess I need to. Ryan said I already had the job."

"I don't want you to go Greg."

"I just have to Sara, please understand."

"I do." She sighed. "But that doesn't mean I like it."

"We'll keep in touch; you're my best friend Sara."

"I just wish there was another way, but you know what's best for you." Greg didn't respond and they fell into a comfortable silence, Greg wondering if he really was making the right decision.

* * *

"Nick come on we're going to be late for our own rehearsal."

"Remind me why we are doing this a week before the wedding?"

"Because it is the best time we could figure everyone in."

"Right." He sighed. He really did not want to be doing this at all; it only meant the wedding was close.

"Nick come on."

"I'm coming Lori Jesus." He grumbled as he let the door slam behind him.

Nick watched as Lori came down the aisle on her father's arm, he felt like he should be excited for the wedding but as he stood there he was dreading it. Granted it was only the rehearsal, but it didn't feel right anymore and he knew why.

"Do you Nick take Lori to be yours?"

"I do." It was soft and almost mumbled, but this was just practice right? When the big day came he would be fine, he was sure of it. Lori was who he wanted, he didn't need Greg, and he only wished he would just stop lying to himself.

* * *

"So you want to transfer to Miami?" Grissom asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, my friend Ryan Wolfe said there was an opening and I've pretty much got the job."

"Why do you want to transfer Greg?"

"Personal reasons Grissom; I just can't stay here anymore."

"Does it have anything to do with Nick and up and coming wedding?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You and Nick used to be close; you even the best man correct?" Greg nodded. "But now it seems like you are strangers."

"It's complicated Grissom; I just need to transfer before I go crazy."

"I hate to see you go Greg, you haven't been a CSI that long and you're willing to go back to the lab in Miami?"

"Yes, I can't be here anymore I just need you to understand."

"I do." Grissom said softly as he signed the transfer form. "I'll send these out to Horatio Cane today, when do you leave?"

"I'll finish the week out but after that I am gone."

"I wish you the best of luck Greg and there will always be a spot here for you."

"Thanks Grissom, I wish things were different."

"Don't we all." Greg mused.

"So it's official now then?" Sara asked as they drove to their scene.

"Yes Grissom sent the transfer form to Miami."

"You know I really want to hate you for leaving, but I just can't."  
"You'll drive to the airport won't you?"

"Of course I wouldn't miss seeing you off for anything."

"You Sara." He said as she reached across to grab her hand. "I will miss the most."

"I'll miss you too Greg." She kept her focus on driving though because she not want him to see her cry, not yet.

* * *

Nick was sure he probably wasn't supposed to hear the conversation between Grissom and Catherine, but when he heard Greg's name he had to hear the rest.

"Yeah he put it in today."

"And you let him?"

"I couldn't stop him Catherine, it was his own choice. Horatio already approved the transfer apparently he knows someone in Miami." Miami? Greg was transferring to Miami? When had this happened?

"Did he say why?"

"Personal reasons." Nick paled, he knew why, it was because of him, because of the poor choices he made he was losing Greg.

"This can't be happening Gil, he would have made it to level 3 no problem."

'"I know." He sighed.

"When does he leave?"

"End of the week."

"Damn." Catherine muttered. Nick couldn't stand it anymore and turned away from Grissom's office wishing he never heard anything.

"Hey Nick where's the fire?"

"Greg's leaving."

"What?" Warrick asked with a perplexed look.

"He's leaving, going to Miami and it's all my fault."

"How is it your fault Nick?"

"It just is because I pushed him away, I ruined everything."

"Nick what are you talking about?"

"Nothing." He mumbled as he looked away. "Nothing at all." Warrick still wasn't convinced as he watched Nick walk away.

* * *

"Ryan are you sure you don't mind?"

Greg it's fine, my apartment it plenty big and it's only till you find one right?"

"Yes, it's just you've done so much already."

"Just stop it already, you're my friend and you needed help."

"I do appreciate it."

"I know dude and it's cool. You'll like Miami."

"As long as it's far away from Vegas."

"Are you ever gonna tell me what happened to make you move clear across the continent?"

"Someday. So you are picking me up at the airport right?"

"Yeah me and Calleigh."

"Your girlfriend Calleigh?"

"Yeah the very same. You'll love her, she's smart and beautiful."

"Ok enough lover boy, you just better be at the airport."

"I will no worries, later."

"Later Ry." Greg said as he hung up the phone. He looked around his now empty apartment, most of his things had gone to storage and the important things were being shipped to Miami. He hardly believed he was actually doing this, packing up his whole life because of one person. It hurt too much to stay though; he had to leave before it completely destroyed him.

* * *

"Nick is something wrong?"

"Greg's leaving."

"Really? What a shame?" Although Lori couldn't help the small smile that came to her face. So he couldn't take it anymore, what a beautiful thing the world was. "Where is he going?"

"Miami."

"So far away." Inside she was dancing for joy, Greg had realized he would never win and he was running away.

"I know." Nick sighed. "Now things between us will never be solved."

"Oh baby it will be ok." She said as she wrapped her arms around him. "You don't need a sinner like him in your life."

"Right." Although he was pretty sure he did need Greg in his life.

"Come on let's go to bed."

"Ok." He whispered as he followed her down the hall.

* * *

Greg could tell Sara was trying not to cry, he could see it in her eyes.

"It's ok Sara you can cry."

"Damn you Greg Sanders for making me so emotional."

"What can I say?" he grinned. "I make women turn to mush."

"Geek." She said as she punched his shoulder lightly. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too Sara, you know that."

"I know." She said as she hugged him tightly. "You better call me as soon as you get there I don't care what time it is."

"I will I promise."

"Now hurry you better get to your gate."

"Love you Sara."

"Love you too Greg." She didn't cry until she was out of sight.

Nick really didn't know what he was doing, but he couldn't let Greg go that easily.

"Greg! Don't go." He cried out when he saw the familiar figure that had just stopped walking.

"Nick? What the hell?"

"I know why you doing this, you can't, please don't go."

"Don't tell me what to do, acting like you give a damn." He spat out.

"So you're just going to walk away when nothing has been resolved between us?"

"You resolved it already Nick, you fixed it."

"Just stop and listen to me."

"Nothing you can say will make me change my mind Nick. This isn't some movie where I'll fall helplessly into your arms pledging my undying love. I'm through with it and through with you."

"There's nothing I can do that will make you stay?"

"You had your chance Nick, you told me how you really felt and I got it."

"But you don't understand…"

"I understand perfectly, I understand I was just an experiment. You don't want us, I get that but that I can't watch you marry that bitch."

"I won't stand here and let you call her a bitch."

"Open your eyes Nick, she came over to my house a few days ago she told me to stay away from you, that I'm a sinner and corrupting you. Oh if she only knew the things I've heard you say to while I'm fucking you senseless."

"She wouldn't say those things, not behind my back."

"Whatever Nick she did and now you won't have to sin anymore but…" Greg said as he stepped closer to Nick, so close Nick could feel Greg's breath on his skin. "You won't ever forget me Nicholas Stokes, never."

"Last call for flight 405 to Miami." Greg didn't say anything more and left Nick standing there. Nick swallowed hard and closed his eyes letting tears drip to his cheeks. How could he have fucked this up so bad? And now Greg was gone.


	8. Living Without You

**_Songs in this chaper are for part I The Letter by Acceptance and in part II Time to Carry On by Vince Gill_**

(I). Nick (The Letter)

_I take it all to heart_

_Don't point the finger_

_Choose the winner_

_Hold your own_

_It's never been arranged_

_Who's the liar, I'm the coward_

_The letter read like this…_

_Of all the sinners I've walked before_

Nick didn't want a bachelors party, really wasn't in the mood to party, but Warrick insisted. So here he was in some sleazy stripper joint drinking beer and plotting ways to kill Warrick.

"Come on man lighten up, it's your last day of bachelorhood."

"I told you I did not want to do anything."

"Come on man, I'll get you a VIP dance."

"No thanks." He snorted.

"Man you've been pissy ever since Greg left."

"Why does Greg leaving have anything to do with it?"

"I don't know man maybe because you guys were pretty tight."

"Were being the key word Rick, you know what get me another beer and I might take you up on that VIP dance."

"That's my man." Warrick said as he slapped Nick's shoulder.

Ten beers later Nick was feeling good and getting an eyeful from Ivana who had taken a liking to him.

"Man you are like a God Nick." Warrick slurred to him. "Hot women are always throwing themselves at you."

"I know." Nick laughed. "But do you wanna know a secret?"

"Yeah tell me."

"I slept with Greg." He giggled like he was a high school girl. "And I liked it."

"Greg? Greg Sanders?"

"Yeah, we've done it like a lot."

"Man I didn't even know you were gay!"

"Me either! And now he's gone."

"So you've been cheating on Lori with Greg?"

"Yep, and he's an amazing kisser Warrick you have no idea."

"I'll take your word on that one Nick."

"I fucked up you know, ruined it all. He left because of me."

"Awww man that sucks."

"Don't I know it." Nick said as he took a large sip of his 11th beer. "I'm pretty much in love with him you know."

"Damn that is some heavy shit Nick."

"Tell me about it Rick." Nick sighed. "I think I need more beer."

"Amen to that brother." They clinked glasses and drank.

"Oh God." Nick moaned as he sat up, the light was blinding.

"Have fun?" Nick looked up and blinked trying to put Lori in focus.

"Don't give me any shit ok Lori? I don't need it."

"No it's fine, I want you hung over on our wedding day."

"I'll take some Advil and be fine."

"Fine. I am leaving to go to Catherine's house; I shouldn't even be seeing you."

"It'll be all right."

"Well the next time I see you we'll be getting married." She said giving him a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." He watched her walk out the door and then closed his eyes, in a few hours he would be making the biggest mistake of his life.

"Nick?"

"Yeah Warrick?" Nick asked as he adjusted his tie.

"Do you remember anything you said you said to me last night?"

"Not really man, I was pretty wasted and so were you."

"Not as wasted as you think, how do you think you got home?"

"What did I say? Nothing bad I hope."

"You said you slept with Greg a lot."

"What?" he visibly paled. "I did?"

"Yes Nick and you know people tend to tell the truth when they are drunk."

"It's true." He muttered. "But I am not proud of it.

"You also said you were pretty much in love with him Nick."

"No… I couldn't have. I'm marrying Lori today in twenty minutes to be exact."

"Is this what you really want Nick?"

"Yes! I don't love Greg and I never will."

"You sounded pretty serious when you told me."

"I was drunk."

"Whatever man, but you said you were in love with him and now that I think about it I can see it."

"No I'm not."

"You're the reason he left because you couldn't be true to yourself."

"Just shut up Warrick, I'm getting married to Lori and that's it." He said through gritted teeth. "She is the one for me."

She looked beautiful in her dress, so radiant and so just Lori. She smiled at him and he smiled back, he was positive now this was what he wanted. He didn't love Greg; Warrick must have been hearing things. He closed his eyes only for a second and all he could see was Greg. Greg with his silly smile and deep brown eyes, Greg who could always make him laugh, and Greg who always cried out his name in ecstasy when they made love.

"Nick…" His eyes snapped open to see Lori standing there waiting for him to take her hand. It was so easy, so simple but he couldn't move his hand to grasp hers.

"Nick what are you doing?" Lori hissed as tears started to form in the corner of her eyes.

"I can't." he finally said.

"You can't!? What the fuck are you doing!?"

"I can't marry you Lori; it wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"And why not Nick?"

"Because I'm not in love with you."

"And you decide to tell me now!? Asshole!" she screamed and slapped him hard against the face.

"I'm sorry."

"You'll regret this Nicholas Stokes!" Lori cried out as he ran down the aisle, away from everyone. Once outside the church he realized he didn't regret walking out on Lori, he only regretted he didn't do it sooner.

Sara was the first to find him hours later sitting on a swing at the park near where Greg used to live.

"Hey." She said softly as she sat down on the swing next to him.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I just knew."

"How mad is Lori?"

"Don't know, don't care." She shrugged. "Are you ok?"

"Just peachy Sara. I just walked out on my own wedding because I realized I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life and I'm so hopelessly in love with Greg it hurts and don't forget the fact he is thousands of miles away and wants nothing to do with, other than that my life is awesome."

"I'm not gonna lie Nick, you deserved it because you hurt him bad I was there every time to pick up the pieces."

"I never wanted this Sara, I never wanted Greg to be the one person I craved, but now he is."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know."

Five days later he found himself working constantly trying to forget about everything in his life, work was the only thing that mattered now. Catherine hadn't spoken to him to him since the wedding, probably because Lori was her friend. He stayed at Warrick's house since he ran off and had one memorable encounter with Lori when he went to get some of his things. He had hoped she would have been gone and she normally would have been, but he figured she was waiting for him.

Flashback

_She was sitting on the couch arms crossed eyes boring into him as he rounded the corner. Damn he was so sure she would not be home, he was not ready for this._

_"So he finally comes home."_

_"I just came to get my things Lori, that's all."_

_"I can't believe you can even show yourself after what you did? Do you realize how stupid you made me look in front of all my family?"_

_"I'm sorry Lori, that's all I can say."_

_"I'm sure it is." She said dryly. "It's him isn't? He filled your mind with all his sins."_

_"And you told him to stay away from me? When did you suddenly rule my life?"_

_"When you decided that you liked it up the ass!" she shouted. "How could you do that to me? I thought you loved me."_

_"I thought I did to." He whispered._

_"How long have you been seeing him on the side Nick?"_

_"Awhile."_

_"You are absolutely unbelievable! You ruined our wedding for a man, for Greg Sanders."_

_"I had to be finally be true to myself."_

_"And run to the fag? Good choice Nick."_

_"Don't call him that Lori."_

_"Well it's true and that makes you one too." She hissed at him._

_"Ok whatever I do not want to this anymore, I just came here to get my things."_

_"You'll come crawling back to me Nick when you realize it's not dick you want."_

_"No I don't think so Lori." He shook his head. "Goodbye." _

_"Fuck you Nicholas Stokes!" _

End

He had not gone back since he could get new things or hope Lori would just throw them onto the lawn so he would not have to go back into the house. He had no idea what to do; he was running on empty and slowly falling apart. He didn't know what to do about Greg and he kept avoiding phone calls from his mother, he was not ready to tell her why he ran out on his own wedding. What he needed was to just runaway from it all, but that wouldn't help him either. He sighed and laid head down on the table, work was his only savior now. When he opened his eyes there was a piece of paper lying on the table, one ticket to Miami. He looked up to see Sara and Warrick grinning at him.

"What is this?"

"Well it looks like a plane ticket to Miami."

"Why?"

"You know what you have to do Nick."

"He's not going to want to see me Sara."

"You have to fight Nick, love isn't easy."

"But what about work?"

"Grissom already approved Nick, stop worrying about and go get what you need." Warrick said

"He could reject me no scratch that he will reject me, I would reject me."

"You never know if you don't try, go try." Nick took the ticket in his hands. It was all clear to him now and he hoped to God Greg would at least talk to him because he knew now Greg was who he needed.

_I can't deny_

_Somehow you're seeing it_

_It's bringing us together_

_Don't ask me why_

_Somehow I'm seeing it_

_I'm breaking after all_

_This could last forever_

* * *

(II). Greg (Time to Carry On)

_Painted as the victim_

_He said you caused it all_

_Lying to convince them_

_So you'd take the fall_

_You walked out with nothing_

_Hoping for some peace of mind_

There was one thing Greg loved about Miami and it was the fact he could pick up surfing again. He had gotten back into his old habit and when he wasn't working or sleeping he was on the beach. It helped to clear his mind and out on the ocean waters he didn't think about Nick. It was pathetic really, but he was having a very hard time moving on. He talked to Sara as often as they both could but never about Nick, never. In the three months since he left Vegas he still had not gotten around to telling Ryan the real reason why he left Vegas in the first place. He really did own him an explanation after all Ryan had done for him when he first came to Miami. Though he really did not want to relive the pain all over again, but he could tell Ryan was waiting even if he never asked. He sighed deeply and grabbed his board, one more wave before he went back to the real world.

"Greg do you have my samples?"

"You're next on my list Calleigh I swear."

"I know." She smiled softly. Ryan was right she was a wonderful girl and she filled the spot of female companion when he missed Sara too much. "You coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, I think that there are some things I need to tell both of you."

"You mean you're finally going to tell us why you left Las Vegas?"

"It's been three months I think it's time."

"You don't have to do this Greg."

"But I want to, I'll see you tonight."

"Bye Greg." He watched her leave and then sighed; it would be really good to finally tell them.

Greg was pacing again as he waited for Ryan to show up, Calleigh was already there pulling dinner from the oven. He just wanted to get it over with it and then he could maybe get on with his life.

"Honey I'm home."

"Good to see you baby." Greg greeted Ryan with a huge grin. "Where's my kiss?"

"In your dreams Sanders." Ryan laughed. "Where my real honey?"

"In the kitchen, you get beer?"

"Yep."

"I'm gonna need it."

"Greg just tell us already."

"Ok fine." He sighed. "You both know I'm bi right?" They both nodded and he continued. "I like women, but sometimes I lean more towards guys one guy in particular, that would be Nick…" So he told them about everything, the promotion, the club, Lori, Nick's major denial and the final confrontation at the airport never leaving out any detail. By the time he was done both were staring at him. "Hey you wanted to know." He shrugged.

"I can't believe he that to you, that's some shit Greg."

"I know Ryan, why do you think I am here?"

"Greg, answer me honesty, how do you really feel about him?"

"I still love him Calleigh, I think part of me always will but I couldn't stay and watch him marry her."

"Have you thought about just dating?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah I have, but every time I go out with someone new I just end up comparing them to Nick."

"Greg, it's time to let go seriously." Calleigh whispered to him. "No matter how much you don't want to you have to."

"I'll try that's all I can say, I will try."

"I don't believe you Sara."

"He didn't marry her Greg, I was there."

"Then why have you waited so long to tell me?"

"Because we never talk about Nick Greg, so I never said anything but I am now."

"It doesn't mean anything Sara, I am not coming back."

"I know you aren't." she sighed. "I wish you would."

"I can't, even though he didn't marry her I can't trust him and you know that."

"I do, but maybe he didn't marry her because of you."

"Stop defending him Sara I am going to move on from Nick Stokes and that's it."

"You'll never get over him Greg, I know you."

"I can and will Sara you'll see." He hissed at her and slammed the phone down. He could do this, Nick was thousands of miles away he could move on, it was time.

So far all his dates were disastrous all the girls he tried to date were dumber than rocks and the guys weren't Nick. He was working on that though, trying not to compare all the guys he dated to Nick, so far he was failing. Maybe he should just start dating just girls and then maybe he wouldn't think about Nick all the time. He had been trying so hard t, but sometimes he could see Nick in his dreams.

"Sanders wake up man."

"What? Oh sorry Nate, just resting my eyes I swear."

"Sure." Nate laughed. "What are you doing after shift?"

"Nothing at all, why?"

"You want to grab a bite to eat?"

"Uh sure Nate that would be cool."

"Great, see you after shift." He smiled. Greg watched him go and wondered what the heck was going on. Nate Miles was ballistics expert and they had talked a few times since he arrived in Miami, but not too much. Sure Nate was cute guy, but were they going on a date? Maybe it was what he needed, Nate wouldn't be Nick, he was sure of it.

Going out to eat after shift had become a ritual for them and Greg found he liked it, and he'd liked Nate even more. They had easy conversation and Greg found himself falling for Nate despite knowing if he was into guys or not. He knew it was dangerous, but he found it was also keeping his mind off of Nick.

"Hey Greg?"

"Yeah Nate?"

"Hanging out with you has been fun, I'm glad we got to know each other."

"Me too and well us lab rats have to stick together." He laughed. "I really have had fun though; it has been hard adjusting to Miami."

"Ahhh, but you are doing so well, I think you belong in Miami."

"Me too." There was a comforting silence between them and Greg felt his heart speed up as Nate leaned closer to him. Their lips met and Greg closed his eyes not once did Nick cross his mind.

"No Sara I'm not lying, yes Nate is great I've never been happier."

"And you're over Nick?"

"I don't need Nick when I have someone who really cares for me."

"I'm glad you're happy Greg."

"I am happy Sara." And was he really was, Nate was everything he ever wanted in a boyfriend and wasn't in a state of denial like Nick was. Nick wasn't part of his life anymore, he had finally let go. Although deep in the crevices of his heart letting go hurt more than he would ever admit, but it was time to carry on without Nick.

_The pain is almost over_

_The hurt is nearly gone_

_You're looking over your shoulder_

_It's time to carry on_


	9. A Weaker Claim

Nick kept the plane ticket in his dresser drawer in his small apartment he bought so he wouldn't keep crashing at Warrick's place. He couldn't bring himself to do it, to get on the plane to Miami when he knew Greg would reject him. He would never know if he didn't try, he should have gone the moment he was given the ticket but he chickened out when he got halfway to the airport. He fucked up too bad, ruined every chance he had with Greg, was Greg really worth fighting for? Sure he loved Greg he loved that now, but was he worth flying to Miami? He closed his eyes and he could see Greg as he was before everything fell apart, beautiful Greg with his crazy hair and big smile. He opened his eyes and he knew what he had to do. He went to his drawer and took out the ticket and picked up his phone.

"Grissom, it's Nick I need that time off you promised."

* * *

"So you and Nate seem to be getting along pretty well." Ryan said as he slid into the seat next to Greg.

"Yep." He grinned as he took a sip of his coffee. "It's great and we have fun and he's honest and open."

"It's good to see you smiling again."

"It feels good, coming here was the best decision I ever made."

"So you don't miss Vegas at all?"

"Not really, I miss Sara and the others but I don't miss Vegas itself."

"I have to say Miami seems to suit you Greg."

"It does, I like being around the ocean again, the waves and everything."

"I can tell surfer boy, that's some tan you got going on there."

"Nate thinks it's hot." He smirked.

"You're damn right I do." Nate said as he walked into the break room. "You hitting on my man Wolfe?"

"Of course I am."

"Thought so." He said as he sat down next to Greg. "I know he's hot."

"That I am."

"Ok I am so not having this conversation." Ryan said as he stood up. "Later lovers."

"Geek!" Greg called out to him as Ryan disappeared down the hall.

"So you coming over tonight?"

"Don't I always?" Greg asked with a smile.

"Just making sure, anyways I gotta go Erik is probably flipping out because I haven't analyzed his bullets yet."

"You better go do that then."

"Yep, see you tonight."

"Tonight."

The thing with Nate was exactly what he needed and since the night they first kissed his mind never wandered to Nick, not anymore. Sara never mentioned it again and his life was beginning to get back to normal and he liked it that way.

* * *

Nick was still sure he was making a big mistake, but he was already there clutching the ticket in his hands. He knew what was going to happen once he got to Miami because if it was the other way around he know he'd be telling Greg to go to hell, yet he was still going. Greg had probably moved on by now, had found someone who could love him the way he deserved to be loved open and honest. Why in God's name was he doing this again? Greg. It was all for Greg, Greg was worth everything, even making himself look like a fool. He'd do it just to earn his way back into Greg's heart, he needed he now realized need it to live._

* * *

_

_There was light filtering in through the window and he blinked his eyes at its brightness. _

_"Come on baby time to get up." The voice whispered in his ear._

_"Don't wanna." He mumbled into his lover's skin. "I wanna stay here with you."_

_"As much as I would love that baby we have something very important to do today."_

_"Oh that." His eyes widened as he smiled. "What makes you think I still want to?"_

_"Oh you do by the way you are clinging to me like a leech." His lover grinned. "And you are really not hiding your excitement either."_

_"Hmmm, then I guess I still want to." He said as he leaned in for a kiss. "Oh the things you do to me."_

_"You love it." His lover breathed into his ear as he leaned in for another kiss, this one building in its intensity._

_"Think we have time for a quickie love?"_

_"Greg baby it's our ceremony we can keep them waiting as long as we want."_

_"Good because I want the wedding night to come early." He said thrusting himself against his lover's body. "Get my drift?"_

_"Oh yeah." His partner moaned. "I love you so much."_

_"I love you too Nick, God I can't wait to marry you."_

_"Me either Greg, you're mine forever now." Nick growled possessively._

_"I was always yours Nick, now kiss me senseless and fuck me into the mattress." _

_"Now that's romantic." Nick laughed._

_"Well cowboy?" Nick answered with a hard kiss and rolled them over until he was on top._

_"This what you had in mind?"_

_"Oh yeah." Greg moaned as Nick kissed him._

"God Nick." The moan escaped out of his lips before he could stop it and his eyes snapped open. Did he just say that out loud? God he hoped not. He turned to his side and Nate's eyes were wide open staring at him. Of course he would fuck this up, why was he dreaming about Nick in the first place?

"Who's Nick Greg?"

"He's no one."

"Don't lie Greg."

"He's no one, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing when my supposed boyfriend is dreaming about another man and moaning his name while he sleeps."

"It's in the past Nate I swear."

"I don't believe you, clearly you're not over this Nick character, was he your boyfriend in Vegas?"

"He was never my boyfriend." Greg whispered.

"Greg stop lying to me dammit!" Nate shouted he got out of the bed.

"I'm not lying Nate, fuck, Nick was never my boyfriend."

"I don't believe you." Nate hissed. "If he wasn't your boyfriend then why were you moaning his name like you were?"

"Nick was never my boyfriend." He repeated again. "Never."

"Then who is he Greg? Honestly?"

"We had something once, but he was never my boyfriend, just a fling."

"It doesn't sound like just a fling."

"I'm over it Nate, it was just a dream."

"I don't think it was just a dream Greg, I think you need to leave until you decide what you really want."

"Nate…."

"Please Greg."

"Fine." He whispered. "I'll go."

* * *

"Sara I fucked up big time."

"What happened Greg?"

"I was at Nate's house and we were sleeping and I had this dream…about Nick and Nate heard me moan out his name."

"God Greg…"

"I can't get rid of him Sara, you were right." He sobbed into the phone. "You were right I'll never be over Nick."

"Greg…"

"No it's true he's everywhere, I can't get him out of my head and I want to, God I want to or I'll never be happy."

"Maybe you were happiest with Nick." Sara suggested in a mere whisper.

"Happy? Happy being the thing on the side? Happy being with only when he thought it was convenient? Yeah that's true happiness there Sar."

"Jesus Greg you don't have to be an asshole about it."

"I know, I 'm sorry." He sighed. "I thought being away from him would help, I've just…I don't know. Why won't he go away Sara?"

"Because you love him."

"What good is it when the one you love doesn't love you back?" Sara wanted to tell him that Nick was on a plane to Miami that Nick had finally gotten his head out of his ass, but she kept her mouth shut it wasn't her place to say anything.

"Oh baby I wish it could be easier."

"Me too, but I will get over him, I have to get over him or I'll never get my life back."

"Maybe you don't want to get over him."

"I have to Sara before it destroys me."

* * *

Nick was pretty sure this was the stupidest thing he had ever done once he landed in Miami. Greg would surely laugh in his face and tell him he was in love with some one else and for Nick to just go to hell. Not that he didn't deserve because he did, he deserved to burn in hell really for things he did to Greg. He was here now though, no turning back and it was time to just suck in breath and do it, now if he only knew where the crime lab was.

"I can't believe what a fuck up I am." Greg moaned.

"You're not a fuck up." Calleigh soothed. "You're confused."

"Nate was a great guy and we meshed so well together and I have to go and have that dream about Nick and ruin it all."

"What was the dream about?"

"Nick and I and our commitment ceremony." He mumbled.

"It runs deeper than I thought."

"I can't keep doing this Calleigh."

"Baby if you're in love with him then go with it."

"I can't…you don't understand I can't let myself…I just need to run samples."

"Greg…"

"Later Calleigh." Calleigh watched him and wondered why a great guy like Greg had to suffer so much.

"Can I help you?"

"Uh yeah I'm looking for Greg Sanders."

"And you are?"

"A friend, I used to work with him in Vegas."

"Just a moment please." She said not hiding the fact she irritated. "Greg Sanders you have a visitor at the front."

Greg heard his name and wondered who in the world it could be, he wasn't expecting anyone. He rounded the corner and suddenly felt his knees go weak. What was Nick doing in Miami? In the lab even?

"What are you doing here?"

"Hey G." he smiled softly and Greg felt his heart speed up and cursed himself for still falling all over Nick like a love struck teenager.

"Why are you here?" Greg asked again.

"I needed to see you."

"Well you saw me I'm leaving now."

"No Greg we need to talk please."

"I'm busy."

"It won't take long." He begged and Greg had to give looking into those eyes he could never resist.

"Fine, but not here."

"Ok." He followed Greg down a long corridor and up a flight of stairs that led to the roof.

"So talk." Greg said as he crossed his arms.

"I was wrong."

"Wrong about what?"

"Everything, I need you Greg, God I need you so much."

"You expect me to believe that? After all you did to me?"

"I know I don't deserve anything from you, but I know what I want now…I love you." Greg never thought he would ever hear those words come from Nick's mouth and now that they were said he didn't even want to hear them.

"It's too late Nick, I told you at the airport I wouldn't fall helplessly into your arms and I won't do it now."

"I didn't expect you too Greg, I came here for a second chance."

"I don't know if I can give that to you Nick, I can't let go of what you did, how you made me feel."

"Greg…" he whispered as he stepped just a little bit closer. "I walked out on my wedding because of you, for you."

"And that line is supposed to work? You're gonna have to do better than that Nick." He snorted.

"You're so bitter now Greg." Nick said without even really thinking.

"Well I have you to thank for that Nick Stokes, you made me this way when you broke my heart." He said as he turned away from Nick not wanting Nick to see him cry.

"I'm trying here Greg, I am."

"Just go." He whispered. "Please."

"I'm not giving up that easily Greg."

"I don't want this Nick, not anymore."

"I'm not ready to let go yet." Nick said as he grabbed Greg by the wrist and crushed their lips together. Greg wanted to resist, but he found he couldn't and he kissed back pushing Nick hard against the wall. When Nick moaned out his name his senses kicked in. This was how it always started, frantic kissing that led to Nick hurting him and he was stronger than that now, he would not let Nick win.

"Nick…" he pulled his lips away. "I can't do this, go back home to Vegas."

"That's not home anymore Greg, not without you."

"You think pretty words like that are going to make me change my mind?" Greg asked as he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. "It doesn't work like that Nick, go home please. Leave me and my heart alone."

"I'm not giving up yet Greg, I'll go but I'm not letting you go that easily, not this time."

"Just leave, just go." Greg said as he left leaving Nick on the roof alone.

Greg made it to the bathroom before he collapsed inside it, sobs racking throughout his entire body. He hugged his knees to his chest, trying to calm himself down. Why did Nick always do these things to him? He wanted so much to just take Nick back, fall into his arms and never leave. He couldn't do it though, his heart wouldn't let him. So he would just let himself cry, because with Nick that's all he ever seemed to do.

Nick made up his mind half to the Miami airport and ordered the cab to take him to the nearest hotel. He knew what he had to do if he wanted Greg back in his life and he would do anything to get it.

"Grissom it's Nick, I need to extend my leave, how long?" He paused and took a deep breath. "Permanently."


	10. Proof of My Love

Nine: Proof of My Love

Six weeks later Greg had almost forgotten about Nick's visit and was moving on with his life again. He never mentioned the encounter to Sara and she never asked, so they were back to not talking about Nick. He didn't tell Ryan or Calleigh either, not wanting to remember anything of that day, he was sure Nick didn't mean any of those things because Nick never meant things like that.

"Greg we need you, Horatio has called a meeting."

"But I'm not a CSI Erik."

"He requested everyone; I heard we got a new CSI, a transfer."

"Oh, I didn't know we were getting a transfer."

"Me either, but he wants us all in there to meet him."

"Ok I am on my way." He wondered who this knew CSI was, he didn't even know they needed one and why didn't Horatio just ask him? He took a seat next to Ryan who looked just as confused as he did.

"Ok now that you are all here I would like you to meet Nick Stokes a transfer from Vegas, Greg you might know him." Only Greg wasn't listening because all he could do was stare at Nick, his eyes wide with shock.

* * *

It took Nick a lot of begging and pleading but Grissom finally relented and gave him the transfer he wanted. It taken him a bit longer to convince Horatio Cane to add him to his team, but finally every thing was falling into place and he was starting the Miami Dade crime lab that day. Everyone in Vegas had called and asked him if he was crazy, moving his entire life when Greg wanted nothing to do with him. He told them all the same thing, Greg was worth fighting for, and he was worth everything and then some. So he nervously waited for the moment when he would see Greg and see his reaction. He knew he had a long way to go to win Greg back and he was ready to just about anything. What he wasn't ready for though was the look Greg had on his face, the look that clearly said he wanted to do with Nick at all.

* * *

Greg found peace in the bathroom where he could freak out in private.

"Greg you in here?"

"Over here Ryan." He mumbled as Ryan found him huddled in the corner. "I can't believe he's here, what the fuck is he doing here?"

"I don't know Greg, maybe he is trying to prove something."

"Well it's not going to work; I'm moving on from him, I've told him that."

"Greg you can't stay in here all day."

"I know, but I don't know if I can do this."

"You'll get past this."

"I've tried! If I can't move on when he is thousands of miles away how can I possibly do it when he is here?"

"Greg please calm down, don't let him ruin your job."

"I just…I can't look at him without all those feelings coming back full force."

"Don't let yourself fall under his spell Greg, you're stronger than that, I know you are."

"You don't get it do you Ryan?" Greg said as he shook his head. "When it comes to Nick Stokes I'm weak because he renders me powerless." Ryan didn't know how to respond and Greg couldn't blame him. "Just give me a few more minutes."

"Ok." Ryan whispered.

* * *

Calleigh was ready to pummel this guy, mad that Horatio had picked her to take this Nick character out with her to a scene. She couldn't believe this was Nick Stokes, the one that had hurt Greg so badly. She had to admit he way easy on the eyes and that accent could charm anyone, but he had broken Greg far beyond repair and for that she would hate him.

"I know you must hate me."

"Yeah, got that right."

"I understand that I do."

"Then why are we even having this conversation? You're lucky you're out with me and not Ryan he's just waiting to punch your lights out."

"And I deserve it."

"You deserve more."

"I know." He sighed.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I have seen the error of my ways and yes I realize it took me a long time and it cause Greg nothing but pain, but even though he wants nothing to do with me I cam here for him."

"You moved your entire life for a guy who doesn't even want to talk to you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I love him wholly and deeply and I will prove that to him even if it takes my entire lifespan to do so."

"That doesn't make everything right." She paused. "But it's a start."

"I hope so."

* * *

Greg knew it was bound to happen, but he hoped he could avoid seeing Nick on his first day, but God didn't love him that much. He didn't have to even look up to know who just walked into his lab, he could always sense when Nick was around.

"You're results aren't up yet."

"Greg…"

"You're working that double with Calleigh right?"

"Yes." Nick sighed.

"Then the results aren't ready."

"I didn't come here for the results Greg."

"Well you're not getting anything else, so leave me to do my work."

"We need to talk."

"We already did that the last time you were here."

"And I told you I wasn't giving up that easily."

"And I told you to leave which is what I am saying now. So here." He thrust the results into Nick's face. "Now go."

"This isn't over Greg."

"I think it is." Nick didn't say anything more as he took the folder and Greg turned away from him going back to his work. Nick wasn't about to give up though, he would find a way to prove to Greg how much he loved him no matter what it took.

* * *

"You knew didn't you!? How the hell could you have not told me something as big as this!"

"Greg please…"

"I'm so mad at you Sara right now, I can't even think straight."

"I didn't know until a week ago Greg I swear."

"Well you still could have told me I thought I was seeing things when he walked into that room."

"We never talk about him Greg so I didn't want to say anything."

"Well I think I could have made an exception to this, Nick coming to Miami permanently is a big thing Sara. Dammit, just what is he trying to do?"

"I don't know." Sara sighed. "You should talk to him."

"I did, I told him to leave."

"You need to stop acting like a child Greg."

"He's up to something I know it."

"Of course he is, he moved all the way to Miami for you even though you rejected him."

"Well it's not going to change my mind."

"Greg, I think he is serious."

"I don't care."

"Maybe you should hear what he has to say."

"Since when are you on his side?"

"I'm not on his side Greg." Sara sighed clearly agitated with his childishness. "I'm just saying."

"Well I don't need to talk to him."

"Whatever you say Greg, I have to go."

"Ok fine, bye."

"Bye, and really think about it." And then she hung up. Greg knew she was wrong he didn't need to talk to Nick; he'd ignore Nick it was easy to do. It seemed like the best way to handle the situation even if it was taking the coward's way out.

* * *

He found the first note two weeks later taped to his cd player. He wasn't sure what to make of it.

_**Like red on a rose**_

And that was all it said nothing more and he wondered of Ryan was trying to play a joke on him. He kept it though and he really didn't know why, but when he found another one three days later he knew exactly who the culprit was.

_**When your lips first smiled at me**_

This one had something written after it and Greg had to sit down when he read it or his legs would have given out.

_You may not think I remember but I do, I remember when we first met. You were playing loud music and you just looked up at me and smiled and even if I didn't know it then I know now how that moment changed my life._

Only Nick would think of something like this, something so sweet that would almost make him cave, almost. Greg wouldn't fall for pretty words, he wasn't about to fall under Nick's spell again that easily.

* * *

Nick was pretty sure it was the most cliché and cheesiest thing he could do, but when he had the song he knew. That song seemed to say everything he couldn't and it got straight to the point. The memories after the lyrics of course were real and the words he had written spoke the truth. He wanted to see how much he loved him, to see written so clearly. It was like that song was written for them because it said everything Nick never could. He only hoped Greg could see it too, could break his walls down even if it was just a little. Nick was ready for a fight and this time he wasn't going to lose.

* * *

When the third post it arrived it was stuck to the reports Calleigh handed him, Nick must have snuck it in when she wasn't looking.

_**I was captured instantly, to each his own**_

_Seeing you was always the best part of my day because I knew no matter what kind of day I was having you could always bring a smile to my face._

Greg placed it with the other two and sucked in a deep breath, he felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes. Nick couldn't mean any of those things, this wasn't real he'd wake up and Nick would still be in Vegas.

"Hey Greg you got the Carlton hair samples I gave you?"

"Yeah Ryan right here." He handed Ryan the folder who looked very puzzled at what he saw.

"These aren't my results Greg."

"Oh shit." His eyes went wide and he snatched the folder away from Ryan. "No, here's your results."

"What was that Greg?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"It's nothing really."

"It was something, they were song lyrics."

"No, it's nothing really…"

"Greg…"

"Fine they were from Nick; he's been leaving them here for me." Ryan picked up the folder again and Greg wished he hadn't been so stupid to just hand over the wrong folder.

"I know this song, Calleigh loves it. He seems pretty serious Greg."

"Song lyrics aren't going to make me run back into his arms."

"Then why are you keeping them?"

"I don't know." He whispered.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Like blue in the sky, the gaze of your willing eyes**_

_I love your eyes, they are like windows to your soul and I loved the way those eyes looked me when we were together. I want to see that look in those eyes again; I want to gaze into your eyes for the rest of my life.  
_

Greg stared at this one longer, it made his heart tighten and if he wasn't in the lab he would have broken down into sobs. He wished he wasn't so weak and Nick wasn't even there, but he found himself wishing he was because despite it all Nick's plan was working.

"So Miami is ok then?"

"Yeah Rick, change of scenery is nice." He sighed.

"But you're getting nowhere with Greg."

"I might be getting somewhere; I mean I can understand why he is scared after all I did."

"But did you make the right choice Nick? Leaving Vegas to pursue a man who wants nothing to do with you?"

"I did because there is nothing I wouldn't do to get Greg back Warrick you have to understand he's it."

"I do understand Nick; I just hope you know what you are doing."

"I do know believe me."

"Well ok man, just keep in touch ok?"

"I will man." He hung up the phone and took a deep breath. He only hoped he was getting through to Greg.

_**

* * *

**__**And I love you cuz I know I can't do anything wrong, you're where I belong**_

_It's you Greg, you're it, and you're the one no one else but you._

His fingers trembled as he placed it next to the others, he knew Nick was avoiding the lab, always having the others bring in his evidence and he was glad for the fact because he probably would have fallen into those arms when the first post it arrived.

"Greg this is ridiculous you've been calling me since you got the first one and you still haven't done a damn thing."

"Maybe I'm scared Sara, look at what he has done before, how can I believe him? Believe all this?"

"Greg he moved for you when you told him to leave that's saying something, he knows what he did was wrong, I think he honestly loves you."

"But can you blame me for doubting him?"

"No I can't." she whispered.

"I can't let myself get hurt again; I fell in so deep before."

"I know it's hard Greg, but even if you don't anything and then meet someone else they will never fully have your heart and you know it."

"It's true." He admitted quietly. "He has my heart."

"Then talk to him."

"I can't." And then he hung up the phone before Sara had a chance to respond.

_**

* * *

**__**And I love you cuz I know you give me a heart of my own**_

_You've taught me the meaning of love Greg, real honest to God love, Lori wasn't love you are love Greg and I will love you till the day I die even if you never love me back._

Greg saw the tear before he felt it as he saw it drop to the piece of paper, no one had ever been that honest, that open and he never expected it from Nick.

"Greg are you ok?"

"Um…yeah Calleigh I am."

"No you're not."

"I need…" he took a deep breath. "I need your opinion."

"On what?"

"These." He said handing her the folder where he kept all the post its. Calleigh took it and read it in silence, but he could see her eyes beginning to water.

"Oh Greg, did Nick give you these?"

"Yes."

"He's trying real hard isn't he?"

"I don't know what to do."

"Listen Greg." She said as she put the folder down. "I don't know Nick that well, and I really don't know you all that well either, but what I do know is that whatever happened before is in that past and that this right here right now is real and it's time you let him in again. You need to let yourself be happy again."

"I want to be happy."

"I know you do, just think about it."

"I'll try." He closed his eyes. "If I can."

* * *

Nick was going crazy and people were beginning to wonder why he avoided the DNA lab like the plague. Greg was not seeking him out, so he wondered if his idea was just a waste of his time. He had one more lyric left to deliver and he really didn't know if he should even try. He told himself he wouldn't give up; he'd do anything to win Greg back so why give up now when he had so much to lose? Greg was his life and he would keep on trying until the day Greg was in his arms again.

* * *

Greg found the last note in a place he never expected, taped to the door of his apartment.

_**You make my blood flow**_

_YOU are the reason I breathe_

Greg felt his knees give out and he collapsed against his door as he sobbed clutching the paper to his chest. He knew what he had to do now; suddenly he was tired of running.

Nick opened the door to reveal Greg standing there clutching that last post it note in his hands.

"Greg…"

"No let me speak please. You hurt me Nick more than you'll ever know and I want to forget, I wanted to move on from you when I left Vegas and I tried but you were every where and then you came here and…and…" he sucked in a deep breath closing his eyes as tears fell to his cheeks. "I never fell out of love with you Nick and I know it's not going to easy but I can't go on pretending I don't need you because I do." He opened his eyes to find Nick standing closer than he was before, he reached out to touch grasp Nick's hand. "You are the reason I breathe." It could have been minutes or seconds for all Greg cared but the next thing he knew he was being pulled into a crushing kiss that he lost himself in, clutching Nick and never wanting to let him go. "I'm sorry I…"

"No Greg you don't apologize never, this whole mess was my fault, let's just make up for lost time."

"For you being an idiot?"

"A big idiot." Nick grinned as he went in for another kiss. "I love you Greg and I'm sorry it took hurting you to see it."

"I love you took Nick and that is all that really matters. We're here and we're here together." He touched Nick's cheek and he knew it wasn't perfect and they were in for a long road ahead of them but Greg knew it was all worth it, Nick was worth it.


End file.
